I was standing tall and confident in the tennis court, ready to take the strongest challenge from the opponent, and so was my life off the court-till September last year. Living wobbling life-prepared for hardest obstacles-confronting each problem with positive attitude and patience. I kept my opponent at the baseline with strong blow of forehands and backhands. That was my attitude on and off the court. I was leading the match with one-set up, but things started to change in the last week of September 2015. My aunt lost her breath due to an obscure liver cancer after spending months in acute pain and discomfort in front of my eyes. That incident, I think, smashed me down and ramification was the consequences It developed, i e the feeling of dejection, misery and despair in me. The opponent broke my strength, and my serve- my confidence jiggled. Rather than focusing and recovering from that hard bang, I committed many unforced errors at that point of my life. Break up was one of that clanger. My self esteem, confidence, and care free attitude, all were brutally injured. Feeling of hopelessness imprisoned me. Angry outbursts on family members, mood swings, sleeping too much and tiredness were my mates. I would feel exhausted and depleted. Couldn't tell antone about this loosing match ; felt like carrying a burden that was not mine and I was carrying it as the owner of it, and little did I know was that I was about to loose my match against my rival. it gave me unseen scars that I hid daily. And soon, I realized I was in Depression, I felt like I was standing in no man’s land and will lose the match. There is immense amount of guilt and shame underpins depressionwhich no other health condition can make you feel that disgusted. It was lonely, isolating and embarrassing condition, due to social stigma glued with depression . 36 percent of India is depressed, and if the social stigma attached to this condition continues, it will take to epidemic in India. The National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) statistics reveal that a total of 1,35,445 people committed suicide in 2012 which amounts to a an average of 15 suicides an hour or 371 suicides daily. Maharashtra ranked second on the suicide index with Tamil Nadu topping it. 15-45 is the most prominent age group that is prone to suicidal tendencies globally.
In the starting when I discussed it with people around me about this condition, they didn’t believe my words because they thought a person like me who was always full of positive temperament, humor and a person of sensible nature can not succumb to this.
But I knew I can not let this go without a strong fight. I was two sets down in the match. I knew that the blow down was all I could do to save myself from drowning-and I planned my move. I took the much needed water break and went to my coach for the comeback strategy. Off the court, my family was my coach. Physiotherapist started relaxing my muscles with great amount of empathy and motivation. I started to put all my efforts for a comeback, running throughout the court and gave wattage to my weak points . I made some changes in my lifestyle including sleeping & eating habits, and the most important one was to stop being dishonest with the family. As, that had added a lot of guilt and anxiety since January last year. One thing about tables is that they turn about, and they did.
Discipline in life helped me in getting back to right route and gave me a major breakthrough and a chance for a comeback in life. Given the condition I was in, self awareness played a very important role in recovery.
Talking is one of the best therapies that worked for me. I found a great therapist in my father. Talk therapy provided me the major moral support than anything else, just like a cheer from the crowd helped me in the final set.Exercising and sweating it out provided me the immediate relief to anxiety attacks.
With consistent efforts and positive enthusiasm I won the match against depression. First of all, a person going through this should be able to talk what they are going through to people close to them whether its friends, or its family. So, talk about what you are going through to people close to you. In the end I will say, don't just neglect it, don't try to shove it under the carpet, just as attention seeking behaviour or mood swings. Try to find out if it is an ailment and is bothering a person. There is nothing to hide about it; it's like any other ailment. Today, if people question me, I am happy to talk about my experiences.
Good job!
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